One of the very cool things about winter: the cost of having fun. On weekends you can take a pile of these and have a rollicking escape to the Wild West, for about 90 cents. If my maths is in a good place, under R1 would make it possible to chunder through three of these lit wonders in a day. What you would need, though, is some sweet brown sherry and a heater.  I was going to say a crackling log fire and some good red wine, but the cliche police are standing by, and they will keelhaul me for saying fire and red wine for the seven millionth time since the log fire was invented. So heaters and sherry it is. Or hot water bottles and Scotch.

Come now Groupon, show me a deal better than this.

I suppose you’ll also need some string to make a cat-o-nine-tails. You’ll be needing to whip the asses of whoever goes overboard on beans with their sausages in your reading room.

‘Ball of String’ – one of 70 colours from Earthcote’s heritage collection, in Zero VOC ultra flat matt paint